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An
USAmerican in Paradise
Leaving Paradise
Part Six
Martha K. Harrison
Today we begin to make our rounds
knowing it may be the last time we ever see some of the people we have met here.
Not that we won’t be coming back, we will; however, who can say if the people
we see daily will be here or be in the same place they are now. I love
St-Barth, I love her people. If it weren’t for familial ties in the
States, I would not return any time soon. But there are so we must go.
One of my sisters asked me what I would take from here and what part of me I
would leave. I am actually fearful I will leave too much of me and not
live for anything but my return to St-Barth while going through the motions of
life back in the States. It will be difficult to find a happy medium.
Time will give me the answers to her question, although it has caused me to look
around and seek the answers here.
Paradise isn’t just about beaches, sunsets, and rum drinks - although those
things certainly make a great vacation. Paradise is feeling at home, being
part of a community, panoramic views, fresh air, and feeling safe. It is
nice to walk around and see smiling faces, people who are truly happy to see
you, and visa versa. This is what paradise is for me. I have
relearned lessons here that I was taught as a child but somehow lost as an
adult. Life on St-Barth is like the theme song from ‘Cheers’ - people
know me by name here....and it is home
I feel very fortunate for being able to spend this time here, I wish everyone
could. I also feel good that I made the decision from my gut to come here
rather than with my head full of should’ves, could’ves, and would’ves.
We have so many expectations placed on us by family, friends, and communities
that often we do what is ‘correct’ rather than what is right for us.
This was right for me and I am happy I did not listen to the naysayers....including
the one in my own head.
I hope I have enough photos to go with my memories. Our scrapbook pile is
huge, full of knick-knacks from our adventures here and little mementos from our
Island friends.
Baron Francois Scapini gave us
three of his paintings. He is the son of the French Ambassador to the
Prisoners of War, W.W.II. He has been drinking buddies with Ernest
Hemingway and Ava Gardner, he was a professional jockey, and a rally car driver.
You won’t ever meet a more charming fellow.
Sinclair Questel is the day
bartender at Le Select. He has given us hours of laughter, insight into
the locals, history of the Island, and true friendship. If he isn’t at
Le Select when you come, it is because Sinclair is really a photographer - he
will be out helping shoot the new Spiegel or Victoria Secret catalogs, or
working with the world renown photographers who come here. Sinclair’s
family has been here for generations....he is St-Barth.
Charles Darden has provided
hours of entertainment with his music and a friendship that will span a
lifetime....no matter where any of us end up.
Sophie, Fanny, Jean Marc, Jean Luc, Richard, Danny, Mireille, Jackson, David,
Arno, Eddie, Bridget, Ingrid, Georges, Pascal, Simon, Jean Claude, Philippe,
Laurence, Marius, Kristoffer, Patrick, Jean Pierre, Max, Teresa, Maxime,
Laurent, Mary Linn, Fred, Poudi and others have all made our time here special
and have made us feel at home.
Saying ‘’So long’’ to this Island will be one of the hardest things I
have ever done. Saying ‘’See you later ’’ to our friends will be
even more difficult. I can’t say ‘’Good-bye’’....it isn’t in
me.
I will take the peace I have found here and the lessons I have relearned with me
- I hope the toil of daily life doesn’t steal them away from me too soon back
in the States. All of our new friends will live in my heart and cause me
to smile, laugh, and cry even across the miles. I will close my eyes and
see the mountains, the sea, and hear the surf, letting it soothe my soul and
rock me to sleep.
I will try to leave my hope of returning here with the pelicans soaring above.
And I hope my laughter will be heard by those who have touched me from time to
time over the crowds that will soon fill the streets during high season. I
worry I have not given as much as I have received.
Lazy days in paradise shortly coming to an end - sadness has set in and I refuse
to look outside at the magnificent sky and sea to fall in love again as I have
every day of my journey here. I wonder if the people who will remain here
will see what I have seen, feel what I have felt, I wonder if they have done
what I have experienced while on this little pebble in the Sea. Of course,
I have never been to the Empire State Building.... and have lived in the NYC
area for almost 18 years. Why is it we aren't present in our own lives
unless we are on holiday? I know more about the people here than I do my
own neighbors in the place I call home. I know every road here, every
lane, every turn and bump.
I will miss the breeze filled sleepy nights. Waking up in the middle of
the night because nature is calling - literally. I never realized how many
times my eyes opened at night until they were filled with a sky of stars or a
moon watching over me as I sleep. There are no sleepless nights in
paradise....the elements take their toll on your body in the day and they rock
you to peaceful sleep in the nights.
I seem to be waking up more at night now - fearing the stars have disappeared
already -- before my journey 'home'. It is a comfort to see them and
it is painful to my soul.... all too soon - the cool, breezy, star filled nights
will belong only to those we leave behind.
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